Every small town has that one guy who thinks he’s a professional angler because he once caught a bass in 2002. He offers unsolicited advice at the gas station, talks like he’s on ESPN, and wears fishing sunglasses to weddings. But hey, he’s a local legend.
The fishing cooler is a sacred item. It stores bait, questionable sandwiches, and occasionally, actual fish. Opening it is like a game of chance—will it be a soggy tuna sub or a bass with attitude? Either way, it’s better than anything from a microwave.
American dating apps should really include fishing compatibility. “Swipe right if you can gut a trout and don’t complain about the smell.” Because nothing tests a relationship like a weekend in a leaky boat, with no cell signal, and one person who forgot the snacks.
